The Ultimate Guide to Pegging

Anal penetration. You either love it, or you haven’t done it properly yet. In our opinion anyway.

If you’ve dabbled in a little anal play and are now toying with the idea of giving pegging a go, this ultimate guide shares everything beginners need to know. From the best positions to hit that sweet spot, to tips on how to have a pleasurable and safe pegging experience.

What is pegging?

Pegging is a form of couples play that involves anal penetration using a strap-on harness and dildo. The person being pegged is usually male or has a prostate gland. Sometimes you may see them referred to as ‘the bottom’. The person wearing the strap-on is usually female or doesn’t have a penis, and they are sometimes called ‘the top’.   

The use of a strap-on means pegging is often thought of as something a woman does to a man. But there’s no reason why women can’t peg other women using a strap-on and dildo. Go wild, girls. And as long as a strap-on set with hollow dildo is being used, men can peg men if they want, giving you the chance to experiment with different anal sensations.

Now you know what pegging sex is, why do couples desire to add it to their bedroom repertoire? 

Why pegging is pleasurable

Gender and relationship power dynamics both play their part in making pegging so alluring. For those with a prostate, anal pegging feels good because it stimulates the highly sensitive prostate gland. Located about 7-10cm inside the anus, the prostate is plum-like in size and shape, and can have the texture of a walnut. Massaging this area with a finger, sex toy or during penetrative anal sex can feel amazing. Work your way up from a finger, to a butt plug, to pegging if you haven’t played around here before.

But what if you’re not male or don’t have a prostate? What’s in it for you?

Power, domination, and a chance to explore a new role in the bedroom. Females and partners who take the role of the top often enjoy the feelings of control, finding it sexy and thrilling. It’s why some people associate pegging with BDSM because it sometimes has a power-play element to it. But it doesn’t have to. Pegging can be a tender and intimate form of sex, that hasn’t got any ties to bondage whatsoever.

Choosing your pegging sex toys

There are three things to think about choosing strap on sex toys for pegging: comfort, weight and size. If you’ve never shopped for a toy like this before, then a whole wonderful world awaits you. Here are some pointers on what to look out for…

The Harness

A well-fitting harness should fasten securely around the hips and legs so it stays in place. You don’t want any movement. If you plan on buying one harness that both you and your partner can wear choose one that’s adjustable.

Also, be aware of what the harness is made from. This is important when it comes to clean up after your play session. Lots of harnesses are machine washable or made from leather, latex or rubber. This makes it simple to toss in the wash or clean with antibacterial spray and wipes. The Avalon Jock Style Strap On Harness ticks all these boxes.  

So which harnesses should you avoid? We’d suggest you steer clear of those with an elasticated waistband that have dildos attached to them. The elasticity of the band can be damaged quite quickly, which can result in poor dildo control, and less fun for you both.

The Dildo

A dildo that’s suitable for pegging should have a flared base. Look for a dildo that is smooth and thin, with no sharp edges at all. You should also steer clear of the harder plastics, metal, glass or wood (yes, wood) and instead choose silicone, our top material recommendation. It’s more hygienic, odourless and doesn’t contain any nasty phthalates.

The dildo included in this pegging set is a perfect example of what you’re looking for. If you want to buy a dildo and harness separately, the smallest in the Tri-Play 3 Piece Silicone set is ideal. Plus, you’ll have extras ready to go in your toy drawer when it’s time to advance your pegging play.

All dildos, whether they are made from silicone or rubber, are firmer than an actual penis and not as flexible. And the anal area is delicate meaning it’s *gulp* prone to tearing if you’re not careful. Bear this in mind during play, and go slowly.

Keeping it safe and sexy

Before launching into full-on pegging penetration, it’s important to warm up. Especially if it’s your first time.

If you’re the one doing the pegging, assemble the harness and dildo properly before getting together with your partner. Check the fit, get used to how it feels around your hips and groin and — this may sound odd — but get used to the weight and feel of the dildo. The more familiar you are with your new appendage, the more comfortable you’ll feel in the bedroom.

If you have the pleasure of being pegged make sure you prepare before play. The sphincter is a muscle and like most muscles it needs warming up. Do this by adding lube to your fingers or a small butt plug and teasing the anus. Start slowly and gently. Pay attention to your body and, if you’re with your partner, tell them how it feels. Let them know if you want them to slow down, speed up or if you need more lube. You could also ask them to play with other areas of your body, like the penis or nipples. Having areas of your body touched that you know brings you pleasure can help you relax and feel sexy, and the more turned on you are, the better anal sex is going to feel.

No matter which role you’re taking on, these little warm-ups don’t just keep your play safe. They’re also great ways to get in the mood and build the anticipation for what’s to come. There will be no better feeling than when that tension finally breaks as you start to play.

Top 5 pegging positions for beginners

You’ve applied lube to all the right places (add an extra squeeze just for luck) and now you’re ready to get into position. But which one will you try first?

1. Doggy on all fours

Getting into position: The person being pegged needs to be on all fours and the strap-on wearer penetrates from behind. Do this on a soft surface. A bed is ideal, but if you’re playing on the floor put down a soft blanket, rug or cushions to protect your knees. If you find that being on all floors is making things too intense or the penetration too deep, lie flat on your stomach like the image shows.

Why it’s good: Doggy is an easy position to get into and stay in. Plus, the top gets unobstructed access while the bottom can control the speed and depth, it’s perfect for beginners. This position also leave the penis free for play, allowing for simultaneous anal and penis pleasure. Double the fun.

2. Cowboy on top

Getting into position: The top lies down on their back. The bottom straddles the top’s hips with their feet planted on either side so they’re crouching over their partner’s dildo.

Why it’s good: The person being pegged has full control when it comes to speed and depth, so they can take it at their own pace. This position removes the need for any thrusting, making it easier for the top too. Cowboy on top is great for face-to-face intimacy and easy stimulation of the penis and each other’s nipples.

3. Missionary with frogs legs

Getting into position: The bottom lies on their back and raises their legs, bending their knees and bringing them towards their chest. Depending on the person’s flexibility they should hold onto their knees, shins or the back of their thighs to maintain the position. The top kneels between the bottom’s legs to insert the dildo.

Why it’s good: If the bottom is a little nervous this pegging position allows them to lie back, which can make it easier to relax. All missionary positions are great for face-to-face intimacy so you’re able to talk, kiss and touch. This position gives control to the top, so if you’re the bottom it’s important you breathe and trust them fully.

4. Stand up and hold on

Getting into position: Stand in front of the arm of your sofa, a desk or the edge of the bed. Whatever you choose, it needs to be sturdy and unlikely to move. The bottom bends at the waist and holds on to what’s in front of them. The top stands behind and penetrates.

Why it’s good: Standing positions remove the problem of kneeling or crouching, which can become uncomfortable after a long time. The bottom has the opportunity to hold onto something, giving them more stability. Both partners can control the depth and speed by moving together.

5. Come sit on my lap

Getting into position: You’ll need a chair for this. One without wheels and that isn’t too wide or high. The top sits down on the chair. The bottom then straddles their partner and the chair (which is why it can’t be too wide or high) and inserts the dildo.

Why it’s good: Planting their feet on the floor makes it easy for the person being pegged to control speed and depth. Come sit on my lap is great for full body-on-body contact, making it perfect for intimacy and closeness. From this position it’s easy to kiss, touch, cuddle and make eye contact. If the top is feeling especially playful they can deliver double stimulation by stroking the penis with a lubed-up hand or masturbation sleeve

How to have a positive pegging experience

We’ve covered a lot in this guide, but before leaping into bed, take the time to talk to your partner about pegging. Make sure you’re both on the same page in terms of why you want to try it and discuss any concerns you might have. For pegging to be enjoyable, you need to have complete trust in one another and respect each other’s boundaries. Not only is having a discussion like this healthy (and sexy), it makes the whole experience so much better.

You also need to spend time gathering the right tools. Don’t rush this step, otherwise you run the risk of not enjoying it as much. And who doesn’t love a bit of shopping? As well as a strap-on set or separate harness and dildo, you’ll also want to stock up on plenty of anal lube. You may also want to consider extra bits to help you warm up, like a beginner butt plug, anal beads or an anal douche. Shopping together is a great way to start building excitement and making sure you choose toys you’ll both enjoy playing with.

Ready to get started? Shop for pegging sex toys.